Today I’ve just had a great sense of unworthiness. I think it’s partly psychological as I’m spending so much time on the Internet looking for jobs and doing wasteful things when I know I shouldn’t be wasting my life. I’ve read John Piper’s book and yet I still find myself slipping into apathy and boredom. I read an interesting statement the other day but I couldn’t tell you where I read it or who wrote it, it went something along the lines of "we make our own lives boring".
That statement really hit although only now it has starting to sink into action. It is so true. I have the option of sitting at home wasting my life away or going out there and doing something. I do have that chose if I admit I sometimes don’t want to admit that I have that choice! I would much rather feel self-pity and drown my sorrows by eating inhuman amounts of ice cream. Even now as I write this post I know I’m wasting my time, even by writing about wasting my time I’m still not doing anything about it!
I’ve recently been thinking about humility and the Christian. I rediscovered a great book by C J Mahaney that I had read about two years ago but forgotten about. From what I recall it was a fantastic book but I’m going to read it again as I encourage you to. If you’re like me the following verses in Philippians really make me look at myself, my own actions and their motives:
Christ’s Example of Humility
2:1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
It definitely is food for thought when the whole world around us is telling us we should only worry about ourselves, that I should get to the top, that I should earn the highest sun, that I I I… The Bible makes it clear that selfish ambition and pride is something that is detestable to God, Solomon even calls pride an "abomination" to Him, and other such strong vocabulary many times in Proverbs – yet we all do it!
It is really something we should all take seriously in life.